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A Little More Than Amazing ♥
vickytoria chan ♥.a.k.a nutball/reindeer. .24th april. .sexy seventeen. .taurus. . . . .choir`alto 1.SL.(2007-2008) .plmc. .child of God. . .I'm alittle more than amazing. Loves ♥
my everlastinq.God.my fun-loving.church. my dearest and most treasured.family & friends. my 24/7 with me.handphone. my always rawking.computer. sweet-nice-cold.ice-cream. SOMEthing nutty.nuts. passion.singing. the voices within.choir. the study of books.literature. crazy scribbles.drawing & doodling. funny funny.jokes. a girl's favourite pastime.shopping. out in the sun having fun.volleyball & captain's ball. cuddly love.cow pillow. the HOT one.ZERO. the best to read.manga. fetish for.bananas. playing.pool. Aspirations ♥
to be at least.1.6m tall. more.savings & money. more.clothes. photo.shop. either.ds or psp. travel.around the world. learn.japanese and french. expensive.shopping sprees. my own minature.library. be less bored. Flying Kisses ♥
Talk to me, The ULTIMATE ONE. ♥
Love Them ♥
.aaron..amanda wong.MUNKY. .angelika. .angelyn. .angie. .audrey. .cassandra. .celestia. .chelsea. .cheryl. .cleo.SANTA. .constance. .debbish. .dewaine. .desiree lee. .dwight.WIFE. .elizabeth. .esther. .faith. .fiona. .grace. .hema. .isaac. .jia yu. .jamin. .jane. .janella. .joel.DEVIANTART. .jolene. .jonathan. .joscelyn. .joshua. .joy. .jowell. "AWESOME" .juanita. .jun yang. .karin. .kenneth. .leroy. .marcus. .marieta. .mark. .mavis. .melissa. .m&m warriors. .natalie. .nicole. .olivia.FURBALL. .poh hun. .rachel. .randi. .randy. .ray. .sac voices. .sara. .shu min. .teresa. .teri. .tracy. .vanessa. .veronica. .yeung wing.SEXY MASTER. Archives ♥
February 2006March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 Recent
You Raise Me Up - Josh GrobanWhen I am down and, o... SHAKESPEARE IN LOVEWhen most I wink, then do mine ... FALLEN.This string of endless gossips,Alive is a d... SAME SIDE OF THE MOON - Corrine MayI'm looking out... CHILDREN.Hide and seek is a game we play,Oh please... SPOONFUL OF SUGAR.A fizzling candy, sugar-coatedPo... Thanks.If you ever need me,I'll always be here for... YOU AND ME.We smile, we chat.The words spoken seem... I mean it more than ever when I say, "I love you."... HAPPY SEXY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY TO ME! (:And happy... Credits ♥
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//Monday, June 30, 2008 3:39 PM
"People disappear when they die. Their voice, their laughter, the warmth of their breath. All living memory of them ceases. This is both dreadful and yet natural. Yet for some there is an exception to this annihilation. For the books they write they continue to exist. We can rediscover them. Their humour, their tone of voice, their moods. Through the written word they can anger you or make you happy. They can comfort you. They can perplex you. They can alter you. All this, even though they are dead. Like flies in amber, like corpses frozen in ice, that which according to the laws of nature should pass away is, by the miracle of ink on paper, perserved. It is a kind of magic." - Margaret Lea, The Thriteenth Tale written by Diane Setterfield
I found this quote rather amazing. It just stood out as I read the book. To see the impact of written words, like the way this paragraph had caught my attention, and how it involves readers to grasp and empathise with every individual story read before. Authors and writers of all sorts are truly one of the most influential and admirable people here in this world. They are able to teach us values, build up an interest for reading and inspire their readers through words. They weave their masterpiece into a written art, cleverly slipping in prompts for us, the reader. With one single piece of literature, allows us readers to have different views. Each different one appealing to every reader's imagination. Many interpretations and ideas can be unpacked from perhaps only a single word to hint. Some things might seem simple on the surface when we read. However, to understand and seize onto the significance of written art, it takes a great deal of reading the book over again with depth and clarity. People these days get hooked on technology frequently. We all wait in anitcipation for the release of lastest gadgets and gizmos that makes our lives a whole lot more convienient. Don't get me wrong now, I'm certainly not prompting that it is a sort of threat to our lives. In fact, I am most definitely glad to have globalisation here on earth or else I wouldn't even be voicing out on my blog right now. Sooner or later as the years goes by, civilisation will be speaking numbers and the codes of Information Technology (IT) itself. The earth will be populated with "walking computers" travelling around with fast and furious modes of transport. Written art such as books and its people would eventually die out as the world would be moving so rapidly from continent to continent. "Who needs books? It's all about the latest now, not the oldest." says the future. The magic that we encounter from books will vanish along with the voice of its writers. It would be a pity wouldn't it? People with the flair for language in both speech and language replaced by gadgets, by lifeless objects. This new generation inspired by technology and driven by efficiency and convienience instead of truly understanding as well as letting themselves be inspired by words that maybe sentimental to the heart, is coming our way. In my opinion, we ought to learn to have a balance in appreciating both technology and written art, appreciating these two forms of pleasure that are clearly distinct.
//Sunday, June 29, 2008 5:13 PM
Identity.
Jovial, full of fun like a drop of sun. From spring to summer, a real life wonder. Spirits high up above, glowing brightly, as roses burst into full bloom. She soars vibrantly embracing the rainbows. With eyes of passion and her million dollar smile, the many around turn, breath taken : "Wow" Torn apart in a raging war. Slipping back in, agile, like a feline. Afraid, with head lowered in fear. She creeps into insolation, never facing the music. She is still water running deep. Alone, sitting on the fence. Others question what might be wrong. She sits silently there having tea, sip by sip. A thousand forms she takes, a thousand forms she makes. Placing herself into a new pair of shoes each time. Right at the mirror, reflecting the unexplainable. Heart like glass, fragile yet strong enough to remain whole. Far from the world, like book ends apart. She stands searching for the light in her.
//Friday, June 27, 2008 6:55 PM
A List Of What I Aspire To Be In The Future:
1. World-wide Fashion Journalist. 2. Radio Broadcaster. 3. Fashion Magazine Editior/Organiser. 4. Author. (maybe? it's tiring though.) 5. Fashion Designer. 6. Interior Designer. 7. Hotel Receptionist. (Very Doubtful.) 8. Singer. (IF I EVER MAKE IT BIG. HAHA. PROBABLY NOT.) 9. Travel Tour Guide. (Might Love It?) 10. Teacher. (WAIT TILL I'M NOT SICK OF SCHOOL.) A Lish Of What I Desire To Do & Achieve: 1. Get A2 for O Levels in English and L1R4 = 13 (maximum), entering mass comms in temasek or ngee ann polytechnic. 2. Quit biting my nails. 3. Enter a university in Britain majoring in journalism. (if I study design then this won't happen.) 4. Get a job which allows me to travel. 5. Travel around the world by the age of forty-five. 6. Be able to afford designer apparels, shoes, clutches from Fendi, Louis Vuitton, Ralph Lauren, etc. and own a huge wardrobe filled with them. 7. Go for mission trips. 8. Go to France and watch the Petits Chaunters of Saint Marc Choir perform. 9. Get married? (DOUBT IT.) 10. Live in Japan and learn japanese. (NOT SURE.) 11. Being able to raise my little brother instead of letting him be put into a home when my parents can no longer look after him. (I'll have to sacrifice alot of things for this, but it's something i'm willing to go through, even if i'm all on my own.) Thank you Amanda, for helping me to pull through my difficulties. I love you, girl. (:
// 6:55 PM
I feel terrible tonight.
I REALLY REALLY FEEL TERRIBLE TONIGHT. I'm afraid. For once, i'm afraid. I dont want to go through this alone yet I have to. God, please send someone to take away my pain and fear please. SOMEONE, ANYONE, PLEASE HELP ME. PLEASE. HELP. feeling: laden & lost.
// 6:55 PM
HELLO PEOPLE.
JOWELL REQUESTED ME TO BLOG ABOUT HIM. JUST SO YOU KNOW. 5 THINGS ABOUT HIM: 1. HE LOVES CHEESY LAME PICK UP LINES. 2. HE LISTENS TO NOISE NOT MUSIC. (that's what i think anyway.) 3. HE A COKE ADDICT. 4. HE IS 20 AND IS AVAILABLE. (: 5. HE IS YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD "SEXY" GUY. PLEASE LEAVE A TAG HERE IF YOU WISH TO DATE HIM, I'LL RELAY YOUR TAG TO HIM & GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT DATE. GAYS ARE ACCEPTED. (after all this is a screwed up ad.) THANK YOU. (: JOWELL YOU OWE ME 5 BUCKS FOR THIS ADVERTISEMENT. SIGNING OFF, you know you love me. vickytoria (:
//Thursday, June 26, 2008 5:28 PM
 where rainbows end.sometimes we chase after things hour by hour, day by day. running down a rainbow hoping to find our desires. as its colours captivate us in all ways possible. every colour, a new phase, a new hope. we run with persistence for what we believe in. rainbows are our opportunities and chances. with spirits high and passion aiming to grasp the treasure at the end. however, rainbows do fade. back at the start once more, losing what we had hoped. time and time again we try, we struggle. hoping to gain it. disppointed. we fall from thin air, head first, failing to grasp what we seek. entering us, pain, grief, torment, temptations, troubles. we sit down and have a cup to tea. and wait clamly, sipping our cups, for that next rainbow. Dear Lord, please give me the perserverance to face each day, with guidance to withstand my temptations. with courage to overcome this battle in me. to search for certain answers only when I am ready. give me the faith and wisdom to show me your plans for my path. as I steadfastly abide in your strength to pull through. place yourself in my heart once more. show me the light to this world, let me be that light. thank you with all my love. Amen.
// 5:28 PM
 this is what I tell myself everyday. (:i know you love me.
//Wednesday, June 25, 2008 7:57 PM
MISSING HOME: ONCE LOST, NOW FOUND.
She sat stiffly at the dressing table, admiring the belle staring back at her from the mirror. With her lips shaping themselves into a smile of satisfaction, while her dark tan hands gently combs through the fine strands of her long, soft hair. As warm fire heated the room on a cold winter night, she gracefully slipped under the lush covers of her bed, watching the flames dance vivaciously. She laid in bed, with anticipation as she looked forward to see her friend again. After all, they were almost as close like sisters by blood, like inseparable twins back home. She had yet to reward that grown boy for informing her about her friend. While reminiscing the past that they shared together, she lets out a long, heavy sigh, falling asleep. Two girls born in late spring, one before the other. Both were made out of beauty, but the first had the upper hand ever since birth, for she was the next heir to the throne. Both learnt swordsmanship, the first had always been seemed to be more skilled than the second. Both were brilliantly witty and knowledgeable, as they knew many wonders of the world but the first had always been deemed to be the promising one as the second was only deemed of exceptional intelligence. Ever since both girls were welcomed to the world, the first had always been superior and outstanding in every single way. Love and happiness had always entered the heart of the first. Rejection and jealousy had always entered the heart of the second. The first loved the second, the second despised the first. The relationship between the two grew from thick bounded rope to thin fine thread since birth. The world that had been shared by these two girls had dissolved into nothing more than a childhood memory. She had always been the second, until her best friend had disappeared. Ten months had gone by. I was miserably trapped with these foreign creatures who took the form of a human, once again homeless. Travelling till no end, crossing unknown borders and wilderness, we have finally arrived in an empire of an unknown race. As I gazed out at my surroundings through the barred windows, bright decorations filled the streets as though there was a festival or celebration going on. The environment was certainly very different from China. Banners and flags hung everywhere. Everything about this culture that was exposed was absolutely very new to me. I looked at everything inquisitively, hoping to figure out what was going on. The air smelt lovely as the fragrant aroma of freshly baked bread made my stomach grumble. I heard the metal clanking against each other while massively large gates opened. Once we have moved passed, the town had disappeared behind the tall gates. I sat back down in the wooden cage, disappointed. Suddenly, the horses came to a halt and the door to my wooden cage flung open. Despite the cold, I quickly dashed out escaping from the grasps of these foreigners. Running towards any random direction, hoping to lose these men. The moment I looked up while I ran, I gasped in amazement. A mountainously huge, beautiful fortress stood there, right before me. Seeing nothing like this before, inquisitively wondering who had own this beautiful home? Dashing round its corner as the men followed. I was nearly out of breath now. Hastily looking for a safe hiding spot to rest. Further down at the back of the fortress was a path into an exquisite garden maze. I stood at the entrance gazing all the beauty around me despite the season. All of it had been so captivating. Flowers were still blooming in colour as I briskly walked around the maze, my feet brushed against the freezing pebble path, searching for the other way out. While wondering my way around, I had heard a soft hum of music within the maze. The voice was light, pure and beautiful. Finally finding the entrance to the centre of the maze, I peeped by the side of the hedge thinking to myself to whom the beautiful voice had belonged to? Standing there among the flowers, was a belle. She seemed to be of the same age as I. Her skin was dusky and flawless just like mine, with eyes of glistening emerald green gazing at her surroundings. She had a petite figure which stood delicately like an ornament of an angel with rich dark brown tendrils flowing down to her waist. Wrapped up in a white fur coat standing there gracefully like a swan. She smiled delightfully as she embraced the garden with her gifted voice. Despite her captivating appearance, looking at her made me sullen, for she had reminded me of my best friend and closest companion, Thanalia. Thanalia was born three days after me. She was my only cousin and reliable friend back in the palace. We would spend days playing in the open fields, learning how to horse ride, battling with our swords, getting lectured by our tutors. We would do everything and anything together. She would stand up for me and I would do the same for her. I shared all my secrets with her, like how the Prince of Iran was such an ugly toad or complained when Father and Mother had punished me for my impudent actions. She would grin back at me, giggling, as I told her my thoughts. We had always been close, almost like sisters, sometimes we were even mistaken as twins by our guests. Our relationship was just like our Father and Uncle's. I missed her. I missed Thanalia. I missed those good old days. I missed home. The girl had spotted me as her voice trailed off, leaving the garden silent. She cautiously approached me, then smiled widely. Her lips parted, letting out a dainty giggle, has she spoke in my language, "It's been while hasn't it, Alisha?" Rooted heavily down onto the pebble path, standing there dumbfounded. "Thanalia", gently whispering her name under my frosted breath.
//Tuesday, June 24, 2008 4:39 PM
 Whoosh its the second day of Term 3!
School's been alright so far. Back with more jokes and more work! Hmm another less than 5 more months to O levels. June holidays weren't exactly holidays. For me at least, haha. So going back to school feels really normal. Anyway, a new vice-principal came in. Her voice is very manly. Can't quite get used to it. O Level Chinese Orals will be starting this thursday. GAH, and if i'm not wrong. My slot should be next Wednesday. My examiner will suffer as me being his/her candidate. Imagine this: ME: na ge, na ge, na ge... EXAMINER: na ge she me? ME: na ge... wo bu zhi dao zhe me shuo. Yes that's me and chinese orals. Dreadful. Other than that, teachers are sort of revising syllabus now. (except a.math & chem) And sad to say, my class is SURELY NOT PERFORMING UP TO STANDARD. Only one girl value added for mid year exams out of the thirty-nine of us. oh wells. this is going to be a "great & spectacular" year for me. yea right, totally.
//Friday, June 20, 2008 11:30 AM
Resist is the one thing I must do.
A tempted soul yet a stubborn mind. To fight off my fears one day. And get over obstacles and boundaries with ease. I must resist from the happenings of the past to repeat, focusing on other attractions. To hold back my own heart, chaining it down to all four walls of my conscience. Hiding this heart away from it in order not to make the same mistake like before. Torturing my emotional state to maintain what's between. No matter how much it hurts, there isn't a choice. I'm not ready. As it's starting all over again. feeling: helpless.
//Thursday, June 19, 2008 1:39 PM
MISSING HOME: THE BATTLE REPEATED.
Outside. Light yet forceful wings beat heavily as the eagle landed carefully onto her arm. Slipping off a tiny note from its claws, she opened it anxiously then furiously threw the scrap of parchment into the gentle aureate fire once she had read. The fire cackled and set the note ablaze, it's last words read: "She's alive." I felt a hand tugging my arm as I left the nightmare, someone was calling me. My eyes shot wide open, breaking out in cold sweat, Master looked at me with worried eyes and suddenly sighed in relief. I had stopped breathing hardly and slowly calmed myself down. My head scorched in burning heat, and my vision was blur. I felt icy cold, while my body was burning as though I was heated in a furnace. Master moved his hand up to my forehead murmured, (I roughly understood Chinese and had learnt how to speak some of it) he had instructed Cook to get a basin of cold water and a damp towel from me. Master returned to his room as Cook returned and dabbed my skin lightly. Two days have passed, I was still on the road to recovery from the high fever. I missed going out to practice with my blades. Daily forcing gruel down my throat, laying in bed to rest all day, falling ill was not enjoyable. I took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling laden, forcing myself to go back to sleep once more. Master did not allow me to even go out to play. It had been obvious that Master always favoured me but he could be rather overbearing at times like these as well. To my delight, the fever was gone the very next day. As the months went by, it was now June, a whole year has passed since I have lost Mother, Father, the kingdom, everyone; back at a place which used to be home. I had been assigned more chores as one among the ten of us had grown past the age limit of staying here and ought to lead a life on his own. Remembering the rude boy who had looked at me with eyes of rejection, who had not welcomed me to this home. The boy with skin as white as bed sheets, eyes with ferocity and a body powerfully built, had moved on to manhood. We called him, Ying. We were never close, Ying and I. There was a part of him I knew I could not trust. Each of the nine of us bid him goodbye as a sign of respect for being our senior. Finally, with his belongings slung over his broad shoulders, Ying was out far walking out of the estate gates, leaving home. One of my new chores was to help get groceries for Cook whenever she needed any. Sometime during the following week, since Ying's departure, I heard Cook calling me from the kitchen and she passed me a short list of things and some money to buy groceries from the market and showed me what some of these things looked like. Not long, I was dashing out of the gates with my belt of daggers for protection, moving my way towards the marketplace. The streets were almost dead. It was not as heavily crowded as usual other than the fact that it was late afternoon. I slowly found my way around the shops, in search for the necessities. I was done with the groceries, all I needed now was some roasted chestnuts. After buying the chestnuts, I delightfully popped one into my mouth. It tasted awfully good with the toasty flavour pleasingmy taste buds. Just then, I caught a shiny glint from the corner of my eye. It was them again. Trudging down the street were those men in shiny outfits once more. The metal on their suits clanked heavily against the stony floor of the town. I quickly hid in behind a dark alley, camouflaging in its darkness. The men passed me with no sign of notice as they marched down the road towards the estate. I gasped in horror and sprinted along the road back home. As I arrived at the estate gates, I saw Master and the nine boys fighting fiercely off these men. We were outnumbered. My nightmare had came true, someone was indeed coming for me."Watch out!" yelled Master from the courtyard. Suddenly, two muscular arms reached out to grab me, I swiftly pulled out a dagger and stabbed it in deeply to his torso then pulling it out once more. The man fell to the ground in pain as blood gushed out from his armour. I hastily ran in to join the fight. Three huge, shiny figures stood before me, blocking my path. I slashed each of their throats in a flash before they could respond to my attacks. Suddenly, out of no where, I had been knocked out by something that smacked me right in face. I fell unconsciously to the ground with a bleeding lip. My eyes began to open slowly, I was tied up and slung over one of the men's shoulder. I looked up and saw bloody bodies on the ground. In front of me was the aftermath of the fierce battle. My family had not survived. Everyone was dead except me. Tears welled up in my eyes with guilt. Angrily hating myself for bringing these people to danger, to death, just because of my presence. I should have wished for my captors to get rid of me instead of being sold off. Finally, we have reached camp and the man threw me into another wooden cage, this time I was all alone. I cried out hurt, as if there was no end to this, several thoughts in my mind raced through. Who is the merciless one behind all this? Why is all this happening to me? What exactly is causing all this? Where will I go now? When will this suffering ever end? I whimpered silently in the dark alone, missing home and family.
//Monday, June 16, 2008 6:38 PM
For those of you who view this blog to read my stories,
please be sure to check out a good friend of mine's site as well. As he has recently came up and started a mimi-series called : Potholes. be sure to view it on: http://www.monkeytuba.blogspot.com/ our stories link in a way, and they have greatly inspired me to continue writing as well. as for those of you who came from his site over to mine. be sure to take a good bite of both the nugget and chicken cutlet. (: enjoy & feel free to leave comments (if you do have any) at my tagboard! sequences of chapters: 1. MISSING HOME: A FALLEN KINGDOM. 2. MISSING HOME: MILES AWAY. 3. MISSING HOME: A NEW YEAR, A NEW BEGINNING. 4. MISSING HOME: FAMILY TRADITIONS. 5. MISSING HOME: THE NIGHTMARES. 6. MISSING HOME: THE BATTLE REPEATED. 7. MISSING HOME: ONCE LOST, NOW FOUND. (I've yet to continue as the story has not ended.) to all my readers, thank you for allowing me to take you on a ride of the Missing Home series. be sure to expect for more! (: you know I love you! victoria (:
//Saturday, June 14, 2008 12:38 PM
MISSING HOME: THE NIGHTMARES.
Sunlight entered faintly into my bedroom, making everything look obscure. I jolted up from bed soaked in beads of perspiration flowing down my forehead, my heart had been pounding on the double. I stared at the run-down wall in front of me and slowly caught my breath. It was just another one of those nightmares that I had been having constantly. Not being able to fall back to sleep, I quickly gathered my clothes and headed down to the bath to cleanse myself from the sticky texture on my skin. It was back for me once again. I filled the wooden tub with water and carefully positioned myself in it. As my toes touched the water surface, my feet began to freeze. The water was still rather cold, despite the end of winter. Taking my time dipping myself into the cool water, not wanting to catch a flu. Not long, I was accustomed to the cool water. I splashed lightly against my burning warm skin, scrubbing hard with the bar of soap which was at the side of the tub. Once I was done, I quickly dried myself with a rough and scratchy towel and dressed myself into costume. Staring right at the stained mirror combing my long, tangled hair, pondering of how much I have been enjoyed myself ever since coming here. It's been two months since my arrival. This was my home now. Spring was nearing, it was now the beginning of March. I had turned fifteen, and had received a belt of daggers from Master. I was overjoyed from the gift that I had received, as it must have cost alot. It was almost time to head out. As the raging drums pound hardly down on every beat, I sprinted towards the courtyard taking the new belt of daggers with me. It was going to be my first performance on the streets. I felt tense and excited at the same time. The gates to our estate started to open, kicking the event off with the thunderous clashing of cymbals. All ten of us children and youths cartwheeled out of the gates, pulling off all sorts of acrobatics that we have learnt over the months. I flipped and twirled in the air as our spectators awed in fascination at our vibrant stunts. Turning into a sword dancer as soon as I've landed daintily to the ground, swirling like a tornado as I withdrew my daggers confidently yet playfully tossing and juggling them around as if they were like the planets orbiting rapidly around the sun. As we proceeded along the streets, we acted out old tales of battles between China's most honoured heroes and evil sprits. Impersonating the characters with our postures and costumes, without speech, along with the battling of blades, grinding metal against metal. Master stayed near the crowd as our audience dropped numerous coins into the basket. I quickly pretended to slash through my opponent and as soon as he dropped dead, our street performance had ended. As our audience applauded enthusiastically, we gently bowed and rose, grinning widely back from ear to ear. From the corner of my eye, I spotted a cloaked figure hiding behind an alley. His presence made me felt disturbed. My intuition told me that I ought to beware of him, although I could not help to wonder curiously about him over dinner back home. We had a big feast tonight. Once dinner was over, I decided to take a relaxing shower after a hard day of work and placed the mysterious stranger who I had seen today out of mind. Three-fourth of the money earned today had been given to the household and Master while the remaining amount had been split among the ten of us. Each of us received thirty yuan and we could use it for anything that we wanted. After my bath, I happily strolled back to my room and placed my belt of daggers in the cupboard. Quickly tucking myself into bed, I thought of how well our performance had been today, feeling a sense of pride in what we had achieved together and thinking what I should do with the money I had received. I lay tiredly in bed, looking out of the window. Staring at the silver moon which cast down its light onto the silent town, with everyone fast asleep under the same dark sky. I drifted into deep sleep once more. My breath grew heavy as I dashed into the winding alleys of the town. It was coming for me once more. Chasing furiously behind me, wanting me hunted down. I darted pass sharp turns, trying to lose whatever was following me from behind. Looking over my shoulder trying to figure who or what it was. With no luck, I could not spot any part of it from behind. I was beginning to feel a sense of relief. However, part of me still questioned with apprehension. Has it lost sight of me? Had I finally escape from whatever that was coming after me for nights? Without looking to where I was heading, I accidentally turned into a dead end, banging myself against the wall. When I realised what a grave mistake I had made, it was too late. Whatever I feared was already blocking my escape from the situation I was in. I stared at the figure, making it out to be a human being that was coming for me. As it moved closer towards me, I shivered in fear, as perspiration and tears trickled down my face. Too frightened to move, as a hand reaches out to grab hold of me. Just then, my terrified scream pierced through the deafening silence of the town. I was trapped.
// 12:38 PM
ever heard of sophie kinsella's series of shopaholic?
guess what I'm turning into a BOOKAHOLIC. during this holiday i've so far spent at least $110 of my savings on novels. I've yet to buy a set of jodi picoult's books. her books are really expensive in terms of thickness of book and for just cheap paper. so yes, think i'm gonna get some of her books next week. and remember I said I ought to ban myself from romance novels. I ended up buying more of them. the books I've bought this holiday (so far): -twilight by stephanie meyers -new moon by stephanie meyers -eclipse by stephanie meyers -the pact by jodi picoult -shopaholic and baby by sophie kinsella -little black dress: true confessions by rachel gibbson -little black dress: the chalet by kate lace -little black dress: this is how it happened by jo barrett -p.s i love you by cecelia ahern -where rainbows end by cecelia ahern these books have been published months and a year ago, and i'm only buying them now. at least 8 out of 10 of the books have romance in them. minority of them are hardcore romance though. the rest are all just for humour or those sweet cliche, happily-ever-after kind of love. shopaholic is quite good for its humor. Rebecca Bloomwood is like your average never excelled in math kind of girl who focuses on nothing but clothes, clothes, clothes and not the actual necessities, plus, she takes most things literary for its terms which always ends her up in some sort of dramatic trouble. Anyway, I've yet to get sophie kinsella's: sophie kinsella's: remember me? I've managed to get the rest of the shopaholic series a long, long, long time ago. so yea. SEE WHAT I MEAN WHEN I SAY THAT I'M BECOMING A BOOKAHOLIC. cant wait to pull out another $50-$60 for jodi picoult next weekend. please do note that i'm insane enough to use so much KA-CHING from my savings. but once school reopens I kiss book spree goodbye. (: (sounds much like I kiss dating goodbye by joshua harris) if you didn't get the "humour", then nevermind.
//Wednesday, June 11, 2008 6:27 PM
MISSING HOME: FAMILY TRADITIONS.
As I walk down along the streets once more, white snow enshrouded the town, concealing the suffering, the poverty during such a rough winter. Everything still looked wondrous as before. People were buzzing their way along the road. The low, roaring laughter of men from the restaurants amplified in my ears as I passed them. Women were gossiping and conversing in a hushed manner, except the ladies who were haggling wildly like ducks quacking in distress. I giggled lightly as I imagined their vexatious faces turning into bright red apples. Children played carefreely by their mothers' sides, as if the heavy burden of ensuring to live through winter was never there. I could get used to living in China and to have this town be my new home. It was just so special. So captivating. My nose felt numb due to the frigid and dry air of winter. Just then, it began to snow. Gliding down slippery lanes, once more heading towards the marketplace. Yesterday, five of us had been sold off. The day before, three of us were sold off. Now only leaving only Syril and I behind. I looked up towards the leaden skies, as snowflakes fell gently onto my face. Amazed by my first sight of falling snow, smiling gleefully. I turned to Syril, searching for a spark of bronze in his eyes. Unfortunately, they did not light up as we walked. While staring at his face, showed signs of weariness because of the lack of proper living conditions and provisions. Everything about him seemed dead, especially his eyes. I gently called his name, "Syril, are you alright?". He looked as though he was in a daze for a moment, and delicately returned a slow nod. I had not been too sure if he was truly being honest with me. Something was up in his mind, and I wanted to know desperately what it was. At the marketplace, Syril and I sat down on the stone-hard ground once more, watching apathetically at the bustling locals roaming up and down the streets. I checked on Syril's face from time to time and saw no difference from the look he had given me this morning. It was beginning to worry me. Something was wrong and I could sense it. Not long, an old man who walked uprightly strolled towards us. I glanced at the man as he spoke to our captors. My captor pulled me to get up, and I stood up stiffly as my legs were numb after sitting down for so long. The stranger held out a two blunt knives and began tossing them around like a juggling act, then he passed the pair of knives to me. I played with the blades along my fingers making the knives spin rapidly in all directions. Using my swordsmanship which I had not forgotten after so long, to play cautiously with the knives, balancing them like some act. The stranger gazed at me intently, and smiled feebly once I had shown him what I could do with the two knives he had given me. He pulled out a heavy pouch from his pocket and handed it over to my captors. Just then my captors had cut the rope off me, and I was free to go with the old man who had bought me. I stared at my new master with beseeching eyes and pointed at Syril, hoping that he would understand what I was trying to say. He replied me by flipping his empty pockets inside-out as well as returning a remorse look. In my mind, I said to myself. No. It will not happen this way. It cannot happen this way. I shifted back to Syril and hugged him tightly as tears poured down to my chin, and whispered silently to him, gazing into his dark eyes, "Be safe. We'll meet again some day." I stood back up and walked along the side of my new master. I looked at Syril with angry tears wondering why he had not respond back, when I might never see him again. It was time to part. I followed my master hastily with cold tears stinging my cheeks, not turning back once more. When I had arrived in my new home which was not far from the marketplace, I heard a boy shouting loudly in the courtyards as though he was calling for someone on our arrival. When the doors had opened, a group of young boys were standing in straight rows and columns of threes right in the courtyard. As my new master stood silently in front of them, they all bowed and greeted us with formality. I directed my view to my master and had finally realised that he was a venerable man. An aged man he was but that did not stopped him from standing sternly straight up. From his face, it showed strength and pride. His legs and body had not shown any vulnerability. After he had shown me his juggling stunt, I assumed that he was still rather agile. I looked back at those nine boys, their eyes filled with shock as they gazed at me. Just then, Master began to speak to them. I hadn't been paying much attention to what he had said as there was obviously a language barrier between me and them. I fixed my gaze at one of the boys who had caught my attention, as he spoke in frustration back to Master, showing a sign of disagreement and then fixed his furious eyes on me. The boy had eyes of an eagle, sharp and piercing. His face was pale white and alert. He was about one and a half heads taller and looked way past above my age. His voice was loud and domineering, like a leader. I stared back at him with a look of disgust, knowing that he had something against me, it was either due to my race or gender. Master growled back at him, and he quickly kept his mouth shut, looking angrily at the ground. I turned to Master with a grateful look and smiled. Master continued to speak for a while more after the rude interruption and assigned a boy who looked just about my age to show me the ropes around the place. While we were all dismissed, the boy who had been rude remained alone with Master. The boy that had been assigned to tend to my needs was very welcoming and friendly. His wide smile warmed up everything despite the cold, frosty air. He indicated to me using gestures and pictures. If I had understood his movements correctly, it was my chore to wash the dishes and cutlery daily and do my own laundry. He explained that a bell would be rung every morning and we would need to be ready in half an hour after it was rung, all prepared for some kind of training. I nodded at him each time I had roughly understood everything that he was patiently trying to convey to me. Guiding me to my room and said that he would leave me for the day to roam a little on my own, reminding me once more that dinner starts at six and the bell would ring when it was ready. I smiled kindly at him and nodded. My new room looked like a closet compared to the room I had when I was still a princess. It was slightly dusty but I could tell that great effort was put in to clean up the place. I opened a small cupboard and peered into it. Everything that I needed personally was already in there. I sat on the bed for awhile, and it was rather hard, but I think I could live with it. I decided to go to the bath which was for the ladies to bathe and wash these rags that I have been wearing for months as well. Our housekeeper and cook who lived here as well was the only female here, so I would have to share the bath with her. I did not really mind at all in fact. She was a lovely lady and a motherly figure that I could rely on. On my way to the bath, I passed by the courtyard and saw the tall, mature looking boy running rounds with Master standing in the centre watching him closely. I figured that the boy was getting his punishment and quickly strolled away. After I had washed myself cleanly along with my dirty clothes, I headed to look for my female companion and signalled her to kindly hang my clothes up for me as I could not reach high up enough to hang them myself. She benevolently did as I requested. She indicated to me that dinner was about to start and passed me the utensils to set up the table. I quickly imitated the positions of how she had place two metal sticks together along with a interesting kind of spoon which I had never seen before. The things they used to eat in China was sure different from the way we ate back home. Once I was done setting up, she handed to me bowls filled with rice and gestured to me to place them in between the utensils. I obediently obeyed her instructions and sat down. The cook then rang the bell in front of the kitchen informing everyone that dinner was ready. Finally, everyone was seated down and ready to eat. There was a widespread of food on the table and my tummy grumbled loudly after time without having a proper meal. I quickly dived for the food on the table and quickly scooped rice with my hands to eat like how I used to do so back home. When suddenly a foot had kicked me hard underneath the table to stop what I was about to do. Then I looked up at everyone at the table with their faces surprised by my actions. Then the cook indicated that we were supposed to wait for Master to begin first before we could start to eat ourselves. I realised that we had to do this as a sign of respect for Master. I bowed my head apologetically three times, showing that I was sorry. Master smiled and understood that I was not fully used to the rules of the house. The cook also indicated and showed me how to use the utensils on the table and not my hands to eat. I tried hard to imitate her and tried to scoop rice with the two metal sticks provided. It was really a challenge for me. Rice was flying out of my bowl and onto the table, making me look like an extremely messy and rude eater. Everyone knew that I was trying hard, and some of the boys even started laughing at me. Master looked as though he was trying to hold back his laughter as well. I glanced at everyone and smiled back. This certain do look like a warm family. However, I had also noticed the absense of the rude boy during dinner. I wondered where could he be. I briskly walked back to my room once I had done the dishes. I closed the door to my room gently behind me. Slowly climbing into bed, I thought of the people whom I had shared so much joy with in the past. Thanalia. Syril. Father and Mother. I missed all of them. As I lay in bed, thinking to myself, wondering of my old and new family and Syril. Was he still alive? Had my captors gotten rid of him if he was not sold off? Will we really meet again? I really miss his deep bronze eyes, looking into mine. Deciding that tomorrow would be indeed another long tiring day, I closed my weary eyes to finally getting a good rest. This was my new home and family now.
// 6:27 PM
SERIOUSLY.
I NEED TO BAN MYSELF FROM ROMANCE NOVELS. PERIOD. GAH.
//Tuesday, June 10, 2008 8:13 PM
MISSING HOME: A NEW YEAR, A NEW BEGINNING.
Trapped. It has been weeks now, probably almost a month, ever since I've been in this wooden cage along with numerous other doleful children. Each time we stopped, a new child would be brought and thrown in along with the rest of us. At night, many whimpered silently, missing their families and losing their homes. I looked at these children understandingly, knowing how they felt but at the same time, I was incapable of removing the grief from their souls. Day by day, contemplating to no avail on ways to escape from the darkness of this two by four situation. Only a few blankets had been provided as the cage was already abounded by at least fifteen of us. Food was given in very small portions, and only once or twice a day, turning us frail and lethargic. Our famished stomachs would churn and growl loudly like the outraged roar of a wild cat. We could smell the liquor on our vile captors beyond the wooden walls, disrupting the peace with their thunderous snores. It was difficult to sleep. The boy who had shared the same language as I, had the most stunning eyes I ever seen. His eyes was the burnish of brass, along with the streaking of bronze across the surface, shinning brightly in the dark, as he looked at me. Lighting and darkening as he spoke of his past, depicting the igniting and extinguishing of dark flames. Speaking with a voice of innocence in a calm manner. The skin and hair on him was akin to mine. He was coming to the age of twelve, just as I had assumed that he was younger than me. The boy explained that he had came from a village near the city and I had once lived in. His village had also suffered the same fate as how my kingdom did, and he had managed to escape it as well. Not long after, the boy had been kidnapped. Before his village was engulfed in flames, he worked for a seamstress and a cobbler. He was an orphan since birth and had lived blissfully with the couple. The boy asked me about my past and I summarised it for him. I particularly left out the part of me being a princess as I did not want him to misunderstand by showing that I was indeed of higher status, and I had not fully trusted him yet. Now the boy who had the most amazing eyes had been growing to be a companion to me. His name was Syril. Towering us from above were enormous, unshakable mountains. The stale air in the cage had turned gelid. As a total of seventeen children curled up together, combining body heat for warmth under the blankets which were as tenuous as thread. We had lost our appetites to eat due to the cold climate. To my horror, I was rather sure that we were moving away from Nepal entering into the Himalayas. It was clearly ratified that none of us will return home ever again. August. September. October. November. December. January. Seven of us perished in the cold. While we step into the new year, boldly placing ourselves through the harsh winter of China, we were approaching a fairly large town. It was night, the remaining ten of us had fallen into deep slumber. In the morning, I woke up realising all our hands had been tied up, with string attached to the knots, forming a human chain. Suddenly, the cage door flunged wide open. We shut our eyes tightly due to the irritation from the sun's rays for our eyes had been accustomed to darkness. As light filled the cage, I looked around and saw a look of starvation and misery on nine faces, including Syril. An icy gust of wind blew in, and we shivered vigorously from head to toe. One of our captors forced us to get out from the cage and pulled us along the road to towards a marketplace. The town looked pristine as pure white snow blanketed the road and every form of shelter. While passing by restaurants, shops and carts selling all sorts of Chinese cuisine and treats had made me realise how hungry I really was despite the cold. Everything looked more realistic compared to the Chinese paintings I had seen while studying about China back in palace. I looked behind and saw Syril's face reflecting the same expression as mine. Both of us were spellbound by the beauty and wonders of China. Finally, all of us approached the marketplace. I was still captivated by everything around me, and refused to walk at the quick pace that we were moving at. Out of the blue, I had been lashed by a whip which one of the captors had been holding. A sharp pain entered my calf causing a sore bruise to form. I almost fell to the ground in pain, but forced myself to remain standing and walked quickly to prevent another lashing. At the marketplace, we were allowed to sit. As I sat stiffly on the cold floor, freezing my butt off in this wintry foreign country, thinking if anyone was going to buy me home to make me do the house chores. Child Slavery. This was how my captors earned their living. At the same time, at the back of my mind I asked myself one question. Was China the place that I could safely call home and start anew?
// 8:13 PM
hello people.
hahaha. i've just updated my story. it is the continuation of the earlier one. for those of you who have read it before i published this post. i've edited the story by adding more fighting actions in it for those of you who enjoy violence. hahaha. hope you'll have a liking to my story. (: and my parents just like told me not to write so much, and do my homework instead. GAH. SUCH A PARTY POOPER. and i feel demoralised. cause all they commented was alright, okay and good. and focused more on the part where it took up too much of my time. and threatened to locked the com if i don't study or do my work. THIS SUCKS.
//Saturday, June 07, 2008 9:29 PM
MISSING HOME: MILES AWAY.
Time passed. Days passed. I was beginning to lose hope that my kingdom had won the unforseen and intense battle from the invasion of those inhumane creatures. I had pretty much assumed that my parents were long dead. By now, I felt that it was time to move on and no longer immerse myself into self-pity. It was now time to venture further beyond the forest, bidding goodbye to what had been my temporary home; the barren cave. Dawn arrived. As light overcame darkness, turning night into day. The igneous sun mightily reigned over the open fields, shinning incandescently down onto the crown canopy, making everything shimmer within the reach of its light to my surroundings. The air was fragrant and moist as a gentle gust of wind blew onto my shriveled skin. My once long, glossy hair which had the richness of colour like dark chocolates had turned into an unappealing sight of dirt black. My clothes and skin smelt of an unpleasant stench despite washing myself ever since I've stepped into the forest. I was no longer the dazzling, beautiful and elegant princess that I had been. All I seem to be now would be an unsightly, dirty child beggar like the ones on the streets back home. I was beginning to look as worthless as trash. It was almost noon, I had been storing up food supplies which consisted of berries, fresh mushrooms and fruits in my sack as I travelled deeper into the forest looking for a way out other than the direction that I had came from. My legs began to prostrate, and I decided to rest against a near by tree. I carefully place myself on the ground and began to knead my weary legs. Pausing for awhile to reach into my sack for a bunch of raspberries, quickly popping one into my mouth, munching happily away. As soon as I've swallowed it down, my mouth watered and yearned for more of its sweet and ripe succulent. Just when I was about to continue with my scrumptious snack, I heard the sharp snapping of twigs coming from behind. Quickly stuffing the bunch of raspberries back into my sack, I sat silently still, placing one of my hands on the handle of a dagger which belonged to the belt that was still slung around my petite waist, preparing to fight off whatever that was approaching. I waited quietly for another signal of movement or sound. I thought to myself: "Could it just been a false alarm? After all, I haven't encountered any danger ever since I got here." As I turned my head back slightly to take a peek, I saw two scrawny men staring back at me with sly and devious eyes. Once again, they looked different from the way I do but they do not look one bit the same as the one in the shiny outfit the other day. The men wore coats which were made from the pelt and fur of animals. Their eyes took the shape of large almonds which made them look like they were squinting at me. Their hair was jet black, frizzled and unkempt. Their skin was slightly tan and yellowish in colour. However, I had noticed a deep scar gashed across on one of the men's lips, as their faces glossed in oil from the reflection of sunlight. One of them had whispered something that I could not understand, their language was foreign to me as well. However, I was pretty convinced that I had been taught about such men, and so I intended to assumed that they came from China, a country which was involved in much trade with my homeland. I stood up quickly, placing myself in a threatening and defensive stance like a bull, using my body language as a warning to them. Glancing at them with a piercing look, I waited for them to make the first move. Both of them grinned back at me, drawing out rope and knives, hoping that I would be afraid by those sharp objects. "Silly fools," I whispered under my breath. Speedily, I withdrew four daggers from my belt within seconds and smiled a mischievous grin. The two men returned a stupefied look for a minute and prepared themselves to tackle me. One of them decided to have a go with me, and came charging at me like a bat out of hell. I dodged his knife by only centimetres away and quickly aimed to jabbed mine into his thick fur coat, aiming to pin him down to the ground. Having successfully being able to pierce a dagger through the sleeve of his coat, making a deep slash on his arm at the same time. As he tried to pull free, I quickly prepared to stab him right through the heart. However, my collar had been grabbed from the back by the other man. The man flunged me aside with much force and I fell hardly to the ground, hitting my head on a piece of sharp and jagged rock. I lay stiffly on the forest floor with blood trickling gently down my cheek as my vision slowly blurred to darkness. When I had awaken, I found myself in darkness along with many other frightened children around me. My head was still spinning from the concussion that occured during the fight. I slowly got up and wondered where I was. There was a tiny hole in the wall of the wooden cage that held all of us. I peered through the hole and looked at the surroundings. Everything was unrecognisable, the forest was no where in sight. "How long have I been unconscious?" I asked around to all the children, hoping that one of them could understand my language. "You've been asleep for three whole days," a frightened boy who looked younger than me, replied shyly. My eyes shot wide open at his reply. I was aghast and terrified. Once again, I am being pulled further and further away from a place that I had once called home.
// 9:29 PM
 okay look really unglam here. Gah. my hair was in a mess man.... pretty bangles. (: MINE! chelsea looks content. dont't you think i'm quite messy? hahahah sneakily used the power plug at the airport. chelsea wanted me to act cute. so there you go. but not cute larrr. our glorious work area on the floor in some ulu alley. LOL.shall blog about this another day! i'm LAZY. MUAHAHHAHAHA! (:
//Friday, June 06, 2008 4:35 PM
hello people.
if you are wondering what the post below is about. it's actually a story i wrote just a moment ago. i'm like testing my narrative skills cause i really suck at narratives. well at least i think i do. so please feel free to give me feedback/comments/tags/whatever. shall blog about thursday and today another day. probably tommorrow! pictures, pictures, pictures! take care y'all! love! (: now i shall let mr.beetle which seems to have take comfort to be on my table to entertain me. (: toodles!
// 4:35 PM
MISSING HOME: A FALLEN KINGDOM.
Lightning streaked lividly across the sky, along with the burnt scent of ashes that had came beyond the open fields. As wild fire continues to spread on the other side, I have been running ceaselessly into the forest, away from those who had destroyed my beautiful home and harmed my people. Alas, after hours, I am finally out of reach from the danger of those men. I continued roaming quietly among the giagantic trees, hiding behind their massively huge trunks, avoiding to be seen by anything that could harm me, be it man or animal. Listening to my surroundings, as I searched hungrily for something to eat and drink, hopefully for shelter as well. Finally, I had managed to come across a gentle and clear stream. Everything around me seemed surrealistic, as if there was something magical and exotic about the forest. I calmly kneeled onto the warm damp soil of the forest floor by the stream and began to scoop up a handful of water. The water was cool and soothing as it went down my dry throat. With my thirst quenched, I moved on with my forage for food and shelter. At last, I've stumbled upon a small and well-hidden cave which was close to the stream that I had came across earlier. I decided to check if the cave was occupied by anything or anyone. The cave was barren. Despite the need to search for food, I decided to rest early in my new temporary home. As i lay silently on the ground and set my belongings close to me, gently closing my eyes. The memories of the fire slowly begin to slip into my mind. As I headed home from the open fields, towards the palace, the bright fiery glow of flames danced along with the soft and terrified screams of the locals. The city had been drowned in terror. The air was fumy and suffocating as I continued to run towards the palace. When I had reached the courtyard, I saw Father fighting fiercely against these strangers. "Run, Alisha! Run! Go! Look for Mother in the North-Wing!" yelled Father. Suddenly, a pair of firm sturdy hands grabbed me from behind. I yelled at the stranger profusely, at the same time struggling to be freed. I spunned round, and saw a robust man in some form of a shiny outfit bringing me away from the palace. I had never seen such a kind of outfit before. The man looked foreign and nothing like my kind. His skin was bleach white against my dark and tan skin. His hair was golden like the sun, the opposite of our dark brown or black hair. He came from a world that I had not learnt about from my royal tutors. I was desperate to be freed from his grasp. I needed a distraction. Not long, Father came charging towards the strange foreigner and attempted to attack. Both swords clashed against each other, the man had loosen his grip off me. I seized the opportunity to break away from him. Father, tossed me a belt of daggers to use as a weapon against anyone who would harm me. Father was the man who had taught me to fight. He never believed that women were ever below men in gender status. He wanted me to be as skilled in swordsmanship as any man in the army. He believed that not only men had the advantage to learn about such skills but women could as well. I knew that he had taught me swordsmanship if a day like this ever came. Ever since young, Father had been preparing me for the worst. I slinged the belt of daggers round my waist and dashed quickly to the North-Wing to look for Mother. I turn back one last time to peek at Father in case it was the last time that I would ever see him again. At last, I finally met up with Mother. "Mother! Mother, what's going on? Why is our home being destroyed by these strange foreigners? Where's Thanalia?" I questioned in confusion. "Hush now, love. Thanalia is safe. However, there's no time to explain right now. We need to get you out of here quickly and we better get going," replied Mother as she handed me a sack that has been filled with simple provisions and some of my belongings. I obeyed silently as I followed her. She took me down a narrow stairway and through a dimly litted tunnel which I had surprisingly never stumbled upon after living fourteen years in the palace. The tunnel had led to the open fields, just right outside the city walls. Mother instructed me to head to the forest where Father always hunts at. Suddenly, more of the strangers appeared and had noticed Mother and I. Mother looked at me with her teary hazel eyes as she gave me a quick hug and ordered me to run as fast as my legs could take me. I smelt the scent of my mother's sweet lavender aroma. Only this time without looking back, I sprinted over the open fields away from the burning fortress, with tears of fear flowing endlessly down my flushed cheeks. Knowing at the back of my hand, I was already missing home. I had awaken from my sleep and sat up to realise that it was nightfall, the disastrous incident that had happened in the day has become a haunting nightmare in my sleep. My cheeks were stained by tears from the nightmare. However, now, I have finally realised: My parents, My best friend; Thanalia, My home. My kingdom. Have all been perished by the massive flames of the wild fire. I laid back down and started to think about those strange foreign men: What do they want? Why did they want to take me away? Who exactly are they? Not long after some thought, I was soundly fast asleep once more.
//Wednesday, June 04, 2008 9:49 AM
UUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW! THERE IS COMPLETELY NOTHING TO DO AT HOME OTHER THAN STUDYING. THERE ISN'T EVEN ANYTHING TO SNACK ON OR WATCH. THERE IS NO ONE TO TALK TO. IT'S THAT TRAGIC. i need some saving here! to get out of this dull place.
//Tuesday, June 03, 2008 5:55 PM
Love And The Spoonful of Emotions That Comes With It.
each day, you see couples along the way to work, school or even at bus stops. love is a necessity in everyones' life. everyone seeks TO BE LOVED. no one in this world enjoys being forgotten or insignificant. we all enjoy the days of being in love. LOL. THEN AGAIN, WHO DOESN'T? with hopes and emotions up high, till those blissful days end with rejection, hearts towering up there will come crumbling down along with a loud breakdown. hurt, heartbreak, grief comes in, tormenting the soul, some face it, some hide or run. there are many in this world, who will sacrifice plenty for that one significant other. usually, we change our personalities, character, dressing, future plans, likings, maturity & values to be appealing to the eyes & heart of the one we love. we take a foolish step to put the ones we love before ourselves. blinding ourselves, just for love. in my opinion, i believe that we shouldn't change ourselves from who we are for love but to only change ourselves because it is up to our own will to do so. i mean we should seek for a love that is sincere. one should seek for someone who would truly love him or her for just being him or her self. changing our own unique individuality and portraying as something different from who we really are towrds the people we love isn't exactly being honest with either the ones we love or ourselves. WHAT HAPPENS IF ONE DAY, WE CAN'T BE THAT "NEW" PERSON ANY LONGER? in the long run, we're just gonna end up in self pity and regret. and it was all for love. of course, as the saying goes "TIME MENDS ALL WOUNDS", but this would probably only work if this other saying "OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND" is implemented. eventually, all the hurt will disappear and we would think rationally again. there may be some who would have to repeat the same mistake again before realising what made thigns went wrong and some who pick themselves up and deciding to remain be the unique individual that they were once were. all in all, i know that everything spoken in this post is practically part and parcel of life. LIKE THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE SAYS. well basically everyone says that cause IT IS TRUE. once again in my opinion, (that you do not have to agree with) i strongly believe that, it's not ONE that should change, instead it's MANY to learn to accept. (: p.s please don't be mistaken. i'm not against falling in love. in fact, i thank God for creating such an incomprehensible emotion. (: Living to appear in many forms, in many eyes that seek, a transformation that is specially appealing. Outwardly for one to see what they yearn from this ornament, seeing a belying side of the article, from one heart each time along with its many desires. Venturing to play a different significant role to a different significant other, as the ornament wishes to please and not digust, by charming others in its character yet remain hidden away from the limelight. Endlessly it searches for the satisfaction that it seeks, dreaming wistfully for a desire to be answered, in hope to find its belonging & significance.
//Sunday, June 01, 2008 9:52 PM
O Levels, O Levels, O Levels.
i think majority of the people living in singapore would play safe than take risks. in my opinion that is. study here, study there, study study everywhere. it's like, so what even if you keep studying AND still don't show any improvement in your results or do badly in the end? do not get me wrong. i'm not saying that people shouldn't study to do well in studies. but if studying so much isn't effective for one's self, then what is the point of telling yourself to keep studying? gosh. i understand that people would definately want to achieve good grades. and one may be prudent when it comes to the important topic: "MY FUTURE" to have as many choices & opportunities possible. SO DO I. but all in all. isn't it a waste of time if it isn't effective? i mean i agree that it is better to be safe than sorry and do everything to your fullest potential for the important situation. but i think one should be rational when it comes to knowing what's best for one's self. i know of friends who occupy with themselves with tuition non-stop, and crash course themselves for english exams. (not talking about the rest of the subjects) i mean reading composition books and memorising them isn't going to help. all the more you read them, all the more you'll have a tendency to copy the style of writing. it's not wrong. but then again, it'll lead one to start using vocabulary that they do not even understand themselves. i mean the examiner would probably know that you got your sentence from composition books or will feel that your essay/story is rather immature. i would only say that composition books come in handy in terms of a good storyline/plot/argument. it can be used as an inspiration for short essays. but honestly. i would rather pick up a good novel and read more than wasting my money on composition books. that's in my opinion of course, i don't expect you to agree with me. i encourage building up an interest in reading. i mean if you enjoy watching tv dramas and movies that had been adapted from a book. WHY NOT READ THE BOOK AS WELL? you would enjoy it yourself wouldn't it? i mean the reason why people hardly read more these days would probably be because, cost of books are increasing, it's not as entertaining as movies or tv programmes, there's no time for books or one is just too lazy to read them. i just don't get it. people in this world are willing to invest time and money on studies that might not be effective for them but have little time for spending a much smaller sum of money or no money at all to buy a good book which would definately help alot more than what they are investing in. (in general, not to any particulat topic.) of course there is a group of people who do read and invest in something to help them improve themselves. i am one of them. therefore, i feel that people shouldn't only rely on tutoring or others to teach them how to learn. instead people should try to be independent and learn new things on their own will as well. trying not to be always be spoon-fed by others, and i think it's about time for many to grow up. |
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